


Regret

by NotSoHotsuin



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Genre: Angst, Blood, Bruises, Fluff, Io/Hibiki too but, M/M, injuries, slight Io/Daichi too, the plot of this game doesn't make sense within its own universe let's just do whatever we want, this is all done on Yamato's route with a twist at the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-10-31 03:02:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10890327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoHotsuin/pseuds/NotSoHotsuin
Summary: “Let go of something you like for something you love.” Was it truly worth it? Was this the love he was looking for? In their joined, cold hands lay a phone dusted with filth. The text on the cracked screen read only the last delivered message from the recipient. “Ps: You’re still my best friend.”"Good luck." Bad luck.Bad End.





	1. See You Soon

“Seriously?” was the only message Daichi could send him. He typed it in a rush, fingers busy trying to convince Hibiki to join his side one last time. Yamato was not his friend. Yamato didn’t deserve to have him on his side. He thought he knew Hibiki well enough; that he’d stick by his side no matter what. That was the problem.

 

It wasn’t fair.

 

His hands trembled, and slowed down immensely to erase certain lines. Some sentences were left unfinished, others were completely deleted. Daichi inhaled sharply, unaware that he had been holding his breath the entire time. He tried to keep it short. He really tried.

 

“Hibiki…” He could see it in front of him. Hibiki was standing by Yamato’s side, smiling. Yamato didn’t smile in return. Of course not. Yamato probably lacked the facial muscles to show any emotion that even remotely hinted earnest gratitude. Instead, he placed his hand over Hibiki’s shoulder, and gave him his approval. So, the usual. Completely unsurprising. Daichi could feel his stomach turn. Yamato called them equals.

  
Not only was the concept of Yamato considering Hibiki an equal insulting because it meant he considered Hibiki lesser than him up to this point, but also because Hibiki was nothing like Yamato. Yamato was a person that would kill others if they stood in his way. Hibiki was not like that. Hearing Yamato say something so asinine made Daichi want to walk over and punch him.

 

There was no way he would actually act on it, though. As much as he hated to admit it, Yamato was stronger, and he seemed to really make a solid connection with Hibiki when it came to rewriting the world. It hurt to admit it, but what hurt more was trying to accept it as true.

 

The memory was so vivid it pained him to recall it, and yet, his mind kept reminding him of its existence. Fumi crunched the numbers. They didn’t have to choose either ideology. They could return to how life was before all this happened. The world could be whole again. As soon as he heard the news, he went searching for Hibiki. He thought his best friend should know about it first; that he would be glad to know they could return to their perfect lives before the demons arrived. Once he found him, he sped up; hand stretched out and ready to call his name, but the feeling subsided when he noticed Yamato was with him. He wanted to reach out and grab Hibiki by surprise, but he could actually see the image before him shatter like glass.

 

It suddenly felt so silent.

 

Running turned into walking, and walking eventually turned into a full stop. When Yamato noticed Daichi’s presence, he shot him a glare. Daichi furrowed his brows, already hearing him curse “Useless dreg,”. A chilling breeze swept through Tokyo, catching a yellow scarf with its movements. A desolate city that was once buzzing with life was now gone. In its center, two figures stood tall and announced their plan to rewrite the world in their image.

   
 _Their image._

  
Was that true? Was this really the world Hibiki desired?   


Daichi’s shoulders slumped as he curled up in his seat; his body collapsing with dread for tomorrow. His phone gradually slipped out of his hands and landed on the hard concrete floor. A dull echo bounced off the walls, but he couldn’t hear it. He was shaking too much to keep going, too much to keep thinking. His hands came up to pull at his hair, and he buried his face in his palms; counting backwards to calm his breathing. Just a week ago they spoke about what college to enroll in and the possibility of taking a trip outside of Tokyo. He finally got his driver's license, and he wanted to take advantage of it with his best friend. If this merit system became a reality, all of that would change. Their friendship would not be a possibility. They were too different for it to work in a world built only on an individual's own merits.

 

He let his arms fall to his side when he realized that everything had already changed. It was over. Hibiki had made his choice. He was not going to come back; no matter how much Daichi wished for it to happen. He tried to build up some laughter to help himself process the information, but any attempt at humor got stuck in his throat. Daichi would be lying to himself if he said he was fine with this. This was not fine. This would never be fine. He brushed his bangs out of his face and used the bottom of his palm to messily rub away the tears building up in the corner of his eyes before they had a chance to fall.

 

When he picked up his phone, he noticed that the device had accidentally sent his message to Hibiki before he had a chance to edit it further. He would have worried had he not erased most of what was originally said in it. Except one thing. _That_ thing.

 

That was fine. He was not expecting Hibiki to read his message anyways. Why did he matter anymore? Wasn’t it clear Hibiki wanted nothing to do with him? Thinking this made him regret writing that message. He hated to come off as desperate or clingy. Then again, maybe that was why Hibiki switched sides. The more thought he gave the idea, the more he began to think it was his fault; that he had chased Hibiki away by being overbearing.  
  
“Daichi?” Two hands gently pushed his bedroom door open, or at least, the remnants of what used to be a door. They were staying in a crumbled building somewhere at the outskirts of Tokyo. Hell if he knew, he had never even visited the area until the whole city turned to ruins. Daichi knew who it was by voice alone, but had no energy to reply or even look at her. Io took two careful steps inside, bracing herself for a heart-to-heart.   


“Um… I know I might not be my place to speak but-”  
“So. Don’t.” He retracted his words immediately, and did not give Io the time to feel discouraged. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I… I’m just…” He didn’t want to snap at her. It was not her fault. She seemed to have taken it well, and stepped a little closer. Daichi got up on his feet to meet her halfway, but kept his eyes fixed on the floor.

  
“It’s okay. We were all… surprised.” Hearing Io say that helped Daichi look her straight in the eye. The expression he wore was rather saddened, and his voice wavered with despondence.   
“...I-I shouldn’t have been, though.” The grip he had on his phone was almost as crushing as the tightness forming in his chest. “I should have known… What kinda shitty friend am I? I don’t even know him, and I’ve spent almost my entire life with him…” When Daichi showed signs of breaking down, Io wrapped her arms around him and held him in a tight hug. Maybe if he wasn’t absolutely devastated, he would have derived some pleasure from her touch. This was Io. She was caring, beautiful, gentle. She was everything he ever hoped for.

 

The problem was that he also hoped Hibiki would be there to share the moment. What were bragging rights when Hibiki either did not want or did not care to join his side? It didn’t matter. Tomorrow would end this.

 

No matter the outcome, all the pain would come to an end. He’d make sure of it.

 

* * *

  


Good intentions were far from a perfect solution.  
  
Daichi smiled, and closed his eyes; letting the air of defeat settle around him. It was silly. This should have felt bad; crushing at least. Instead, it almost felt freeing; as if his mind could finally stop worrying about the future. Hibiki did tell him he had a habit of overthinking things. There was no future anymore. No reason to worry. No reason to do anything at all.

 

Hibiki fought him only as he passed by to get to the other Tokyo members. It should have felt nice not to be targeted, but having his best friend pass him by as if he were nothing but a ghost was a chilling experience. Of course, he did not want to hurt Hibiki, but they could not ignore the fact they were on opposing teams anymore. One of them had to lose, and Daichi was going to make sure he was on the winning team.

 

At least, that was what he thought before Yamato stepped in. Yamato never had to fight, but one look at him told Daichi everything he needed to know about his fighting style. His hands did not waver, and his eyes did not stray from his target. In a flurry of blows, Yamato unleashed both fire and ice, burning while simultaneously freezing his body stone-cold. It would take far more than that for Daichi to even consider giving up, but the longer he prolonged the fight, the more tired he got, and the more Yamato seemed invincible. At least he finally got to punch Yamato and make him bleed.

 

It was not until he felt his legs give in that Io stepped between the two of them, diverting Yamato’s attention away from Daichi so he could fall back and recover. When he did so, he quite literally bumped shoulders with Hibiki by accident. Hibiki’s hand almost came to rest on Daichi’s by instinct to stop him from falling.

 

Almost.

 

Instead of running, he plummeted to the ground; breathless and dizzy. He rolled over on his back and tried to open his eyes. Hibiki towered over him, blocking out the scorching sunlight that would have otherwise rendered his vision useless. There was a phone in Hibiki’s hand. One he held his fingers around rather hesitantly; reluctant to summon a demon and finish the job. In the far distance, Daichi could hear Yamato fighting Io and the rest of the Tokyo branch.

 

“Come with me.” Hibiki’s words hurt him. He bit his lower-lip and shook his head. His arms were busy trying to heave his body in an upright position. When Hibiki noticed Daichi was still trying to fight, he walked over to him and put one foot on his chest to keep him pinned down to the ground. Daichi winced, feeling the weight crush his ribs. Even in this state, he could tell Hibiki was only trying to stop him, and not physically hurt him.

 

So. Here they were.

 

Tokyo had lost.

 

“Daichi, it’s over.” Hibiki’s voice was low, but certain. “Come with me.” Daichi could not gather the strength to tell him off. He shook his head halfheartedly, lips curving into a smile. Hibiki frowned at the sight. He hated how Daichi dismissed him with a pleased look on his face. There was nothing pleasant about their situation. Nothing at all. When Hibiki noticed there was no chance he would be getting back up on his feet again, he gently took a seat next to Daichi, gazing down at him, hoping to change his mind.  
  
“Daichi, it’s not a question. You have to come with me.”  When Daichi shook his head again, Hibiki grabbed him by his scarf and janked him forward. “Stop smiling! You could die!” That seemed to have triggered a reaction. It was not much, but it was better than seeing him dismissively shake his head again.   
“If Yamato gets his way… I’m dead anyways.”   
“Don’t say that. He’ll let you come with us. He’ll-”   
“He’ll do what? Force me to help him kill me? No thanks, I think I’ll pass.” Hibiki’s grip on Daichi softened. He bowed his head low, letting his eyes examine the details of their current situation. All the hardship and struggles were visible in the countless bruises and scars placed upon their bodies. When he felt Daichi’s hands on his, he sensed his fingers twitch. It amazed him how composed Daichi was. Compared to everything else that had happened, it was remarkable he was taking this so well.   
  
“Hibiki, I can’t live in a world like Yamato’s. Don’t you get it?... I… I die either way. So can you please… just let me choose how I die?” Daichi felt a familiar sort of comfort wash over him when he gazed into those blue eyes. For once, he was not afraid. Oddly enough, everything felt like it would be okay. Daichi swallowed hard, trying to force out six words he never imagined he’d ever have to say. With a dead-cold expression, he breathed out his final request.   


“I want you to kill me.”

  
He felt guilty when he saw Hibiki’s horrified expression. Hibiki’s defensive walls seemed to have been lowered at the mention of death so much that he raised his voice.

“Daichi!” Hibiki would have slapped him had he not already suffered enough of a beating. There was a serious look on Daichi’s face, one that Hibiki saw very rarely. He hated it; downright hated it more than anything else at this point.

  
“If you won’t do it. I’ll do it myself.” Hibiki’s face scrunched up with pain, and he quickly grabbed each of Daichi’s wrists to stop him from doing anything rash.   
“Why are you… putting me on the spot like this? Why are you making me choose sides?” Hibiki knew he made the choice himself without Daichi’s involvement, but he could not follow through with something like this. Daichi’s lip hesitantly curved into a smile; blood trickling down his chin and forehead. Even the pose they held now was reminiscent of better days. The pressure from Hibiki’s hands felt warm. Comforting, even.   
  
“...You’ve always been better than me at everything. Sports, school, friends… If you believe you can make a perfect world like this, then I believe you, but it’s not for me. I’m… I’m not built for it. You know that more than anyone.”

“No!” He yelled as loudly as he could, but Daichi did not flinch. Hibiki kept staring at him as if it would convince him to change sides. Unfortunately, Hibiki knew where this was going, and his grip on Daichi’s wrists softened.

“Hibiki,” With a shaky voice, Daichi used his last bit of strength to guide Hibiki’s hands around his neck. Hazy, brown eyes locked with blue again, hoping to convey his feelings to Hibiki through his touch alone. All Hibiki could see was the horrible aftermath of his selfish actions. If he had just stood by Daichi, none of this would have happened. Daichi would not have let it happen.  
“No,” Each disagreement sounded more uncertain than the next.

  
“Please,” Hibiki could barely look at him.

“No...Daichi,” He forced the words out of his mouth. “-the answer will always be no...”

 

“I don’t want to die by Yamato’s hands.” Hibiki wanted to say Yamato was not going to kill him, but he did not know that for certain. He adjusted his position until he was looming over Daichi’s form, fingers finally gaining some motion again. Daichi breathed a sigh of relief when he felt Hibiki’s hands move on their own accord, gently making themselves comfortable.

 

“Remind me to thank you for this when I see you again.” Hibiki’s lips parted almost as if he wanted to interject. If Yamato got his way, there was no chance they were going to see each other again, but he remained silent. There was hope in Daichi’s eyes, hope that told him Daichi truly believed they would meet again at some point. Hibiki knew better, but he wanted it to be true more than anything in the world right now. He closed his eyes and let his fingers curl around Daichi’s neck, thumbs pressing deep into his throat.

 

“C-come on, you can do better than that,” Yes, he could, but not without a lot of mental preparation. “-think about the time I pissed you off the most. When was that?”  
“Right now.” The answer was delivered so swiftly.   
“If you don’t hold back… you’ll only have to do it once.” Was that supposed to be motivational? Hibiki steadied his grip, arms straight, trying to press more of his bodyweight into the hold. He winched from the pain in his muscles; both body and arms trembling. He lost his grip and let out a series of quick breaths.

 

Daichi coughed, lungs struggling to breathe, ribs probably broken, and hands so bruised it could be considered a skin tone. Hibiki would have screamed out loud had he not needed the stamina to carry out Daichi’s request. Daichi seemed to be slipping in and out of consciousness thanks to his sloppy move, but he regained some of his composure after a few breaths. When Hibiki’s eyes came to rest on Daichi again, he saw that familiar smile that captured the feeling of nostalgia perfectly. To think it was only six days ago that Daichi looked at him the same way. Except, back then; Daichi asked him if he wanted some tea, and not if he could kill him.

 

_Tune it out. That’s all you can do._

 

He really tried considering Daichi an enemy to make it easy on himself, but he realized that it would be unfair to do so. It wasn’t true. This was not easy, and it was not supposed to be easy either. He was not going to try and make excuses when something like this was inexcusable. When he gathered his strength, he repositioned his hands and gave Daichi a nodd. This was going to be the last attempt. No holding back.

  
“F-funny how things turned out… I always joked that… you’d be the end of me. Haha, I was right… for...once.” Hibiki cursed silently, forcing his hands to dig even deeper until Daichi could not speak at all.

 

_Stop smiling. Please Daichi, stop smiling._

 

Daichi was not going to give Yamato the satisfaction of seeing him turn. Not that Yamato would accept him if he were to join, but if there was one aspect of his life he did not want Yamato to control, it was his death. Yamato could rewrite the world and render him useless, or he could kill him on his own accord. None of those options sounded good. Either way, he saw himself ending up dead. The only way to truly get back at Yamato was to take that satisfaction of winning from him. Yamato was not the victor. Hibiki was. Daichi would never forgive himself for losing to Yamato, but he didn’t mind giving his life for Hibiki. If this was the future Hibiki wanted, then that was fine. If it would make him happier in the end, then that was fine too.

 

One last act of defiance. It helped to know that it would be done by someone that cared deeply for him.

 

Hibiki could feel the exact moment Daichi’s muscles relaxed. His hands were still roughly placed around his neck, despite the fact Daichi’s own hands had long lost their grip on his. His breath hitched, hands shaking and digging deeper into Daichi’s skin to make sure he did not leave anything unfinished. Not again. He did not want to force himself or Daichi to go through the motions of near-death-experience again. His shoulders felt heavy; his arms suddenly lost their hold and weakened. He leaned down, hands now gently resting around Daichi’s cheeks.

 

Deep breaths.

 

Slow breaths.

 

His breaths; and no one else's.

 

There was nothing but the sound of dust blowing through the wind; little pieces of debris being carried across the cold, cracked grounds of a bloodstained battlefield. A hand came to rest on Hibiki’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly.

 

“Don’t bother looking out for the ones beneath you. He was simply not strong enough. It was his own fault for standing in our way. Instead of prove himself useful in our new world, he chose to die… Pathetic.” Hibiki could not take his eyes off Daichi’s body. Transfixed by the view to the point he had become utterly motionless; It was almost as if he was trying to pretend nothing had happened, as if he just found Daichi lying here with no explanation. His throat was dry, but he did his best to speak clearly.  


“Is this our world? A world where people prefer to die rather than live?”  
“If they’re as incapable as Shijima was, then yes. I don’t care if they choose death.” Hibiki swallowed hard. It took immense restraint not to lash out at Yamato. The reassuring squeeze of his shoulder made the crippling guilt easier to handle, all up until Yamato retracted his hand. Once the touch was gone, Hibiki was met with the bloody remains in a war over ideals. Yamato’s stern voice pierced the silence like a dagger.

 

“We can not loiter anylonger. Benetnasch will arrive soon. We best deal with Ronaldo before then.” Hibiki wanted to get back up on his feet and follow. He wanted to keep going simply because there was no turning back; because turning back would be an insult to what just took place, but one look at what he had done in the name of his supposed _justice_ made him sick. He could not allow himself to waver now. Not after what he forced Daichi to go through. Yamato seemed indifferent; stoic and poise in the same breath, as usual.   


“Understand? I have high expectations of you.” There was a low chuckle hiding in the back of his throat when he addressed Hibiki. “You seem to be fond of this Shijima character. It is...curious. How could a person like you with so much potential waste it on someone so unworthy?” Hibiki didn’t want to hear it.  
  
_Unworthy, unworthy, unworthy._

 

In his eyes, Daichi was as much worthy as he was. The most frustrating part was being unable to explain his reasoning. Yamato got down on one knee and placed his thumb and index finger on Hibiki’s chin to pull his eyes away from Daichi’s body. It was done aggressively, almost dripping with jealousy, but Yamato’s expression was the same as it always was. Apathetic.  
  
“Don’t you get it? We are equals.” He made sure to emphasize the last few words to make it stick. “ You can’t waste your time tending to the wounded. In the end, a burden is still a burden. We are better off without him dragging our team through the mud.” Words like “our” and “we” made him feel a connection with Yamato. Either it was blunt sincerity, or crude manipulation. Hibiki was always aware that it was most likely a little bit of both.   


“-So, get going. I won’t say it again. We don’t have time to waste.” Yamato got back up and dusted himself off. Hibiki watched his shadow leave the scene without a second thought. Meanwhile, Hibiki was still on his knees and arms, too crushed to keep going, too torn to leave the area. He bit his lower-lip and placed his hands on Daichi’s and squeezed them tightly. The warmth had already escaped him. It was unforgivable. To think he valued his own twisted ideals more than he valued his friend. Ridiculous. He could not say he disagreed with Yamato, but if this was the outcome of their so-called merit-system, then the system needed to be abolished.

 

In a world where the strong protect the strong, there would not have been room for people like Hibiki or Daichi. While Daichi may not have fought as diligently, or been the best strategist, he was always there for support; always ready to pick Hibiki up when he fell down. Yamato had no idea that the reason Hibiki looked so strong was thanks to the fact he had Daichi’s support. They balanced each other out since childhood days, and managed to achieve high scores whenever they worked together as a team. Sometimes, two otherwise regular people could make each other strong enough to overcome anything. They could complete each other perfectly. However, something like that would most likely not be rewarded in Yamato’s system, since it built upon an individual's own accomplishments rather than a collective group’s. Relying on others all the time was not a good idea, but neither was facing the world all by yourself.

 

This was the ideal Daichi was trying to convey with his message. Hibiki’s biggest regret was that he realized it too late.

 

In their joined, cold hands lay a phone dusted with filth. The text on the cracked screen read only the last delivered message from the recipient.

  
“Ps: You’re still my best friend.”


	2. Don't Look Back

Hibiki did not rest until he tracked down Io’s whereabouts. It was sheer luck that she managed to escape before Yamato landed the finishing blow. Everyone else’s whereabouts were currently unknown to him, but if he had to be honest; he did not care where they were, or what they did. The only person that could help him right now was Io. Once he found her, he made his presence known, albeit rather clumsily.  


“I need your help.” Had Io not recognized his voice, she would have passed him of as another civilian.  
“Oh, um, hi.” She took a step back out of habit. She got nervous easily when people stood so close to her. “-My help? What for?” He got right down to the point without chit-chatting.   
  
“To defeat Polaris.” Io’s expectations dropped almost instantly. She averted her eyes to the ground, and kept her voice barely above a whisper.   
“S-sorry… I can’t accept Yamato’s ideals. I… can’t help you.”   
“I’m not asking you to follow Yamato. I’m asking you to fight him.”   
“But…” Hibiki took a step forward and held Io’s hand in his own. He tried to subtly pull her closer.   
“Let’s get our world back. The world we used to live in before all this.” That sounded a little different than what she expected to hear from him.   
“Did you… change your mind?” Hibiki was not willing to answer her question.   
“Are you still in contact with the rest of the Tokyo faction?”   
“Um, yes. They’re all injured but…” She paused and looked slightly worried.   


“Then get everyone ready. Go recruit Ronaldo before Yamato reaches him.”   
“B-but I thought all losing factions had to give up. Wasn’t that the rules?” Hibiki could not care less. Factions that lost had to disband, and any team members could be recruited after defeat. However, Ronaldo was not aware the Tokyo faction had lost, and there was no rule that said the group had to admit defeat if they lost against a single faction. What was to stop them from fighting him? Did they not say Polaris would bend to the will of the majority? As long as they held the majority, their ideals could still be fulfilled.

As long as Tokyo’s team had more willpower, they could be victorious. Rules were only a hindrance when the fate of the world was at stake. Only an idiot would give up halfway just because of some made up rules. Society had already crumbled. All that was left of their country were these last few members that could be swayed to change the outcome. Nothing was fair, nothing besides egotistical people existed. All of them would only act upon their own desires. Ronaldo. Yamato. The only one that seemed to even take a level-headed approach to this was Daichi, who valued the world for what it was, rather than what it could be.  


“Don’t use rules as an excuse to give up. I know you can win. Fight for it.” Io felt a lacking warmth near her palm when Hibiki let go and turned to leave.   
“W-wait! What about you? Where are you going? Won’t you stay with us? I thought you came to talk to me because you changed your mind...”   
“...I chose Yamato. I have to see it through.” It was a promise, after all. He wanted Io to defeat him and recruit Yamato to her side. It was the only way they could rewrite the world without a merit system. He swore his loyalty to Yamato, and that was simply the way it was going to stay in this world. Io shook her head, unable to figure out exactly what Hibiki was thinking.   
  
“But why? You tell me to go up against Yamato, but I... I’m not as strong as you,” Clad in blood and bruises, an unpleasant image flashed by Hibiki’s eyes before he glanced at Io.   
“You are now.” Io could see the hurt in his eyes, but she said nothing. She let him walk away, and quickly pulled out her phone to gather the rest of the Tokyo faction when Hibiki revealed Ronaldo’s whereabouts. When there was no answer from Daichi, she called again.

 

And again.

 

_And again._

 

Her lower-lip quivered, but she kept calling, and the call kept getting rejected. She held her phone close to her chest and felt her knees cave. Hibiki told himself he was too far away to hear her cry.  


* * *

  
“You regret your decisions, right?” There was a telling smile on Fumi’s face. She looked satisfied to have figured it out, even if she acted so nonchalant about it. Just why the hell did he have to have physical check-ups with someone this chatty? Hibiki did not mind most of the time, but when it had to do with such a sensitive subject, he wished he could tell Fumi to cram it and go be a bitch somewhere else.   
  
“-I’m not surprised. I mean, It’s so transparent. You’re not exactly good at hiding your intentions.” Hibiki had hoped not to get lectured when he arrived at her workstation, but expecting Fumi to keep her opinions to herself was a rather foolish idea to entertain. However, he did not think she could read him so clearly. That created a bit of a mess.   
  
“Will you tell Yamato?” The question almost seemed laughable to her.   
“Pft, what for? It’s not like your rebellion will make any difference. Besides, if you’d drop out, it would be _before_ killing your best friend, not after. Even an idiot could figure that one out.” Perhaps, but maybe he really was an idiot after all. That battle took a toll on his psyche, and Hibiki was not even sure he recalled it correctly at this point. The stench of blood was so fresh in his memory that he could still smell it. It took so much restraint not to hurl every time he closed his eyes and saw the image he was trying to bury within himself forever. Nothing could be done now. He chose this path. It was over.

  
“Do you regret it?”   
“What?” Fumi sighed, her tone slipping into a more irritated state.   
“Killing him, you moron. It’s not like he asked you to kill him. It’s natural to feel some guilt.”   
“...What if he asked me to do it, though?” Fumi considered the possibility, but the satisfied smile on her face did not show any sign of fading.   
“Hm… then lucky you.” There was a chuckle at the end of her sentence that made Hibiki question whether or not she had any shred of empathy. “-You have no reason to feel guilty. Any further guilt on your part is rooted somewhere else.”   
“Rooted somewhere else?” Asking a simple question certainly did away with her smile quickly.   
“Oh, for the love of-” She glared at him. “Basic human psychology. Do you speak it?” Hibiki narrowed his eyes, but let Fumi get to the point before insulting him further. While she was mercilessly ruthless, she did have a point in what she wanted to convey most of the time.   


“You feel responsible for his death because he put you in charge of his death. He ordered you to kill him because it was his way of relieving you from having to decide his fate on your own. However, you’re a smart cookie. Your subconsciousness knows that this is what actually happened. That’s where your guilt comes from. You’re feeling guilty because you listened to Daichi’s judgement instead of your own. If you had just listened to yourself, he’d still be alive and you’d be free of guilt. Simple enough, no?” Hibiki was afraid to say a lot of it went over his head, but he picked up most of what was being said.  
“...I think I get it now.” A look of pride and relief washed over Fumi.   
“Good. Because I’m not repeating it. Not a chance.”   
“Thank you, Fumi.”   
“Hm? Don’t get me wrong. When I see a problem, I try to solve it. That’s just a hobby of mine. Now, shoo. I’m trying to pay attention here…” She was tinkering with a rather large device. It looked important, so Hibiki felt as if he should leave her to take care of it. For medical check-ups after fights, she sure talked very intimately even if she claimed not to care about their personal lives. Before he exited her office, there was something he had to ask.   
  
“Fumi,” An irked sigh escaped her once more.   
“What?” She drew out the word longer than necessary to further emphasize her annoyance.   
“Could Daichi’s theory...” He already felt regret asking the question, and stopped halfway in. Fumi was clever enough to figure out what he wanted to ask, though.   
“You’re asking me if it would have worked? Yep. Pretty much. Why? Having second thoughts, fearless leader?” The words ‘fearless leader’ were said in a mocking tone, and he really wished it was not. However, Fumi was right. There was no time for second thoughts. Even thinking about changing paths right now would be an insult to everything that had happened down this route.   


“...No. Just curious.” He gave her that signature smile of his to make sure she did not worry. Not that Fumi would ever worry, but he did not like to consider the possibility even in theory. She had already returned to her own devices, tapping away at her computer.  
  
Hibiki’s phone buzzed once he stepped out of the room, and an unfamiliar number appeared on the screen. He answered anyways, having only a small clue of who was calling.   
“Hello? Ah. Good. You picked up.” The smile on Hibiki’s face was involuntary, almost akin to a reflex at this point.   
“Surprised?” Hibiki teased. It earned him a small chuckle from Yamato.   
“I was certain we never exchanged numbers formally, so I had my doubts that you would answer to an unknown caller ID. I’m glad to see I was mistaken.” His voice trailed off, and turned a lot more serious.   
“I have news about the Tokyo Faction. It seems that they are… persistent. They have reassembled, and are currently attacking Ronaldo, despite the fact that their leader is dead,” Hibiki froze at the mention of Daichi’s death. A part of him still didn’t want to accept it, and a lot of what Yamato said afterwards was blurred out by the horrible images that flashed by.   
  
“-Understand? Should I take your silence as agreement?” Hibiki was a little nervous to say he tuned out Yamato’s voice through most of what he said, and tried to come up with a way to get the whole picture without admitting to his slip-up.   
“What is your end goal here?”   
“End goal? I thought I said we should not bother with dregs of their kind.” That sounded about right. Very Yamato-esque, so to speak.   
“We defeated them once, and we will defeat them again if we must.” There was a small pause. One that Hibiki thought had something to do with a technical error. However, Yamato spoke up again, this time, in a softer tone.   
“I’d like you to join me. Makoto will escort you to my office.” As if he already didn’t know where Yamato’s office was in the diet building. Regardless, he allowed Makoto to escort him there as promised. God forbid he showed up alone despite being ordered differently. He grinned to himself. Yamato would probably enjoy the small surprise if he did defy his orders on purpose.   


* * *

 

The diet building was huge, and the pathways below almost mimicked a maze. Yamato’s room was far from simple, but unlike Fumi’s mess of a desk, his books were neatly stacked and sorted based on relevancy. There were papers lying about, but they were all organized. Hibiki could recognize a few book titles and their subjects, but he had a feeling Yamato did not call him over to have a study session with him.  
  
Actually. You never knew. The thought of Yamato sitting him down to school him was actually rather comical. Hibiki had a feeling he’d really enjoy telling others what to do.   
  
“Makoto, some privacy.” She bowed her head and walked over to the door.   
“Should I wait until you two are done so I can escort him back to his room?” Hibiki could tell Yamato was irked by the question. He always seemed to get a little ticked off when others asked him questions like these. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact he never asked them for suggestions on what the best thing to do was. As always, if there was something Yamato wanted, he would ask for it directly, and if there was a simpler solution to what he had in mind, he would have already proposed an answer. The simpler solution could also be that he was a bit of a control freak. Just a bit.   
“That won’t be necessary, Sako. I’ll escort him out myself. Dismissed.”   
“Understood, sir.” She closed the door behind her. The sound of heels hitting polished floor tiles could be heard faintly for a few seconds before it was clear that she was gone.   
  
Yamato turned to Hibiki and uncrossed his arms. There was that familiar smile. It always managed to send shivers down his spine. Shivers? No, these were not shivers. Why was his body trembling? The room suddenly felt a lot colder. Had JP’S HQ always been this quiet? This uncanny crawling feeling beneath his skin was starting to make him worry.   
  
_What is this? Why am I nervous?_   
  
It was not as if this was his first time alone with Yamato. There was something else to it. It felt as if he was not letting himself enjoy the moment. Yamato cocked his head slightly before picking up one of two champagne glasses that were neatly placed on his work desk. When Hibiki did not say anything in response, Yamato took a step closer.   
  
“A toast.” He held the glass out for Hibiki to take a hold of. “To _our_ new world.” Yamato disliked handing things to people, but he was willing to make an exception for Hibiki. That seemed to happen often. Before he knew it, he had already made plenty of exceptions with Hibiki in mind. There was no real reason to hide it anymore, not when it was just the two of them. Hibiki’s fingers gently brushed against Yamato’s when he took a hold of the glass, and it was one of the rare times Yamato did not find gloves as practical as they seemed.   
  
“You’re not of legal age.” Yamato raised his own glass.   
“Such a pointless statement. You do like pointing out the obvious sometimes. No, I am not of legal age in this world, but I don’t see why I can’t celebrate early in ours,” Hibiki raised his glass and clinked it against Yamato’s in celebration. A little early to celebrate, but Hibiki did not plan to argue with Yamato’s confidence. When he let the drink pass through his throat, he felt a sharp tug near his chest. This was supposed to be a happy occasion. Yet, with all the conflicted feelings in his gut, it became virtually impossible to take enjoyment in it. Yamato noticed the apathetic look on his face, and set his glass back down on his desk. Alcohol was supposed to make people relaxed, not make them sick.   
  
“You look pale. Are you alright?” No, but there was no reason for him to bring anything personal up. He was almost certain Yamato would not care for his feelings. Then again, if there was anyone that could change the way the future was shaped, it was Yamato. Making a request did not sound like a bad idea.

 

“Yamato…” His voice wavered a little. “-Is it possible for me to make a request in this new world?” That question seemed to pique Yamato’s interest.

“This new world we will create is as much yours as it is mine,” Could he say it any smoother? Yamato allowed his hand to curl around Hibiki’s glass to remove it from his grasp. He casually set it down on the desk next to his own, eyes never leaving Hibiki’s form. Yamato rested his thumb near his lip to bite into the fabric of his glove and pull it off in one swift movement. He only removed one glove so he could place his hand beneath Hibiki’s chin to tilt his head upwards.

“What is it that you desire?” There was a steely grin on his face as he said it. Hibiki felt a small surge of pride in the way Yamato was touching him. Even the way he was looking at him made the tension in the air vanish. Oh yeah. He _looooved_ him. Definitely.   
  
“I want you to bring Daichi back.” He could almost feel the image of their perfect world shatter like glass. Yamato’s face scrunched up with irritation, and he ripped his hand away from Hibiki  in the blink of an eye. This was definitely the wrong thing to say.

  
“Let me get this straight…” Hibiki gave him a curious look as he moved to put the glove back on his hand. “-You have the opportunity to have any request granted right now… and you choose to spend it on him?” Waste. Waste it on him. That was what he wanted to say. It truly was a waste after all, wasn’t it? Why ask for a member that was scatter-minded, wandered off sometimes, and managed to get kidnapped because he was too weak to put up a fight? It baffled him. More than anything, it frustrated him. The strong were not supposed to look out for the weak like this, no matter their sentimental attachment. It was as if Shijima was just a plaything Hibiki got attached to and could not let go off. Like a favorite toy, or companion. That was mostly what Yamato saw in this case. A plaything. A way for Hibiki to pass time doing unproductive things. Just what did Hibiki see in him?   


“Does that mean you’ll bring him back?” Yamato folded his arms across his chest and stared daggers at Hibiki. The cold stare and serious posture was enough of a clue, but Yamato made his opinion clear anyway.

“Give me one good reason to spare Shijima.” The reply hurt. Yamato knew nothing of their backstory, but Hibiki had a feeling it did not matter in the end for someone like Yamato. Hibiki could go into detail about it, but that would drive him straight into a wall. Unless he chose his words carefully, Yamato would not grant his request. Knowing this still did not make him a good debater.

“Yamato, he’s my friend,” He could tell his argument was flimsy at best by the way Yamato narrowed his eyes in disappointment.

“I said, a _good_ reason, not an appeal to emotion,”   
  


_What else is there to appeal to?! You can’t be this heartless.  
_  

“You don’t think my emotions are a good enough reason?”  
“Your emotions are not an argument. Emotions are only a hindrance to progress, which is exactly why Shijima had to die.” Yamato could tell he had use the correct words when he saw Hibiki get riled up.  
 

“ _Had to_!? Who said he had to die!?”  
“You determined his fate when you sided with me. The risk was clear. That much should have been obvious,” That fell in line with what Daichi told him. Fumi, too. He really wished everyone else had informed him of this apparently obvious fact. It would have saved him a lot of heartache.  
“-Someone like Shijima would not thrive in a merit driven world. If you disagree with me, then you’re also disagreeing with Shijima.” Yamato snorted, and took some pleasure in the irony of the situation. In a way, Daichi actually agreed with him, so what was Hibiki’s problem? “Was that not the reason he favored death? If Shijima would rather die than serve me, then that is fine. He has that freedom.”

  
“Yamato… please,” Yamato sighed.  
“You are above this. Do not dwell on matters that have passed. Shijima wanted to die. You granted his wish. Begging to bring him back is beneath you, and it’s inconsiderate to Shijima’s wishes,” Yamato placed his hands on his hips and looked down at Hibiki. Despite being younger, he was proud to have a height advantage. It was much easier to occupy the moral high ground when you were physically occupying higher ground. He was so entangled in his own ideals that nothing else could compare to his system. Considering any other solution was just not possible. The unsettled and pained expression on Hibiki’s face only made Yamato stifle a chuckle. He let one of his hands lay rest below Hibiki’s chin; tilting his head up to look him in the eye.  
  


“Shijima was weak.”  
“You’re wrong,” The defiant tone in Hibiki’s voice only made Yamato’s grin widen. The reply came through so confidently, as if his claim had any merit to stand on. There was a shine in Hibiki’s eyes he had never seen before. If Yamato had to be honest; he quite enjoyed the sight of Hibiki’s conflicted feelings. What Yamato thought would have sealed the conversation only ended up wedging a knife into Hibiki’s respect for him.

“Shijima did not even have the strength to kill himself on his own volition. Even that task had to be handed to somebody more competent. That is how useless he was. Instead of taking care of his own problems, he asked you to do it for him, and now you shoulder the burden of a lazy person,” There was no shred of empathy in his voice as he finished his sentence. “-it’s pathetic.”

 

A slap to the face.

 

He never knew it would give off such a sound, or leave the chief with a cut near his cheek. It was a rush of adrenaline that lead to a violent retaliation. Hibiki’s hand acted on its own accord, and if he had not exhausted all his stamina from just that one single move, he would have pushed Yamato up against the wall and forced him to take back every word. Every. Last. Word.  
  
Just what did Yamato think he knew about Daichi? Yamato had known Daichi for seven days. Hibiki had known Daichi for seven years. He felt his arms grow weak and heavy, so he took a step back and collected himself. It was so hard to stop shaking. So hard to tell Yamato that he really valued him a lot, but that he was a complete asshole for disregarding people’s feelings so freely.   
  
_Stop calling him useless._  
  


_Just stop._   
  
“...I’ll show myself out.” He did not give Yamato room to respond. The slam of the door closing behind Hibiki ended up tipping over a single champagne glass. Yamato silently observed the mess. The crystal clear liquid spread across a stack of books and tainted the carpet beneath his feet, and the glass eventually rolled off his desk to rest at the floor. With a sharp move of his wrist, he knocked the other glass over in anger and sent it tumbling down as well, only adding to the mess. He pulled his fingers along the edge of his desk as he walked around its side to take a seat in his chair. The stains the champagne left would not have the time to dry before the black scar got to their location. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the tension in the atmosphere sink in as he crossed his legs and folded his arms across his chest.

The darkness helped him shuffle through the memories of their fight against the Tokyo faction, fingers drumming against his upper-arm restlessly. A frown was imminent as he remembered fractions of the leader’s death. That content smile on Shijima’s face was starting to make a whole lot more sense now.  
  


“...Well played, Shijima.” The irritated expression on his face softened slightly. They would have to celebrate another time. That thought was what brought a smile to his face.   
  
“Too bad. I still win.”

 

* * *

 

“Ah… I see…” Alcor smiled and stared up at the heavens.

“So he sealed his fate… at that moment.” He let his arms wrap around his form, almost as if he was dreading what was to come.

“Mankind is most curious. They make mistakes, yet they still press on. They despair in their hearts, and yet they still find the strength to overcome despair.” His otherwise cheery exterior dropped when he thought of the boy that held the world within his grasp. The potential he had within himself wielded so many possibilities for growth. Sadly, the one in control of that potential right now was Hotsuin, since Hibiki had lost himself with guilt. The change had been so gradual that it was almost unnoticeable, and the only person who could snap Hibiki out of his despair was now gone; leaving him lost to ponder over his own moral judgement in a rather inconvenient timeframe.

“It is such a shame. No matter which path you choose, you will be left with one desire unfulfilled. Torn between emotions and reason…” The smile on his face returned when he saw a streak of irony in the sentence.

  
“Perhaps it is you whom I should refer to as the Anguished One,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter, but it was a little too long, so I split it into 2 chapters instead.  
> There are also sidenotes in my original document to make this at least 5 chapters, but I'm very doubtful I'll make anything of those in this fic.  
> I hope you enjoy the next chapter though \\('v')/! Whenever that might be.


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